endure.

I have a chalkboard on the wall at the top of my stairs.

It is a rather large chalkboard, and it is just what you see while climbing the last 7 or so risers.

I use it to write various scriptures, or quotes, or sonnets for all of us to read as we climb.

Mud pie city. Ezra dried these, put them in a plastic container, and took them to school for his May Day play.

One day, about a month and a half ago, I was feeling the need for a certain little word:

endure.

I wrote it just like that.  All alone and simple on that big board.

When I wrote it, I don't think that it I knew how much it would affect me whenever I looked at it.

Some days I am so tired, and, at the end of the day, it is all I can do to make it up those stairs

(usually I am carrying at least one child).

Jiles found a skirt that was meant for Zoe.

Then I see that word,

endure.

Sometimes I want to cry when I see it.

But most of the time, usually when things are really crazy, it makes me laugh.

The Bitties have found a way out of their yard.

It is so easy to get overwhelmed, in this stage of life.

There are always so many things to do, so much to clean and keep up with, so many little ones to love and care for.  And hardly any (if any) breaks, or alone time (even in bathroom trips).

(And lots and lots of food to be made (again and again and again.)

 :) 

It is a huge and full-time responsibility, this running a home and family.

It is down right hard work.  

I don't know how in the world that on top of this responsibility, I think that I can do so many things outside of our home and family.

Things that are good things, that I like doing, and are "for" my family.

 But in actuality these things take my time and energy, both of which are limited, away from my family.  

Let's apply the Good, Better, Best principle here:

Helping in the community is GOOD

(and I enjoy it),

Our cow that Rancher named after his favorite ping-pong player.

fulfilling responsibilities at home is BETTER

(I enjoy that too),

Rancher lurves green growing grass.

so maybe concentrating more at home now, at this stage of my life, and stepping back a little (or a lot) with outside the home stuff now, and then helping more a little later in life, when my Littles are bigger, is BEST.

(Does that make sense?)

Grandma the goat is a happy goat.

Yes, that is definitely best.

I mean, I know I could do it.  I can do it all...

I can do everything that everyone asks me to do, never say, "no", and please everyone, everywhere, all the time;

and feed my family, keep a clean home, have a happy husband, and thriving children, grow a garden, take care of animals, keep up on the laundry (and blogging - hahaha).

Okay, so that is just a big fat lie.

If I believe that I can do it all, then I either think that I am super woman (which I am most certainly do not), or I am a big fat liar.

Of course I can't do it all;  there is absolutely no way.

No one can.

And it is NO FUN trying, either.  It's stressful, and everyone usually ends up crying.  Priorities begin to get confused, too.  And that is definitely no good.

I'd much rather just do the latter (all of the stuff at home).
I'd rather just stick to what is BEST.

It's a balance thing, too, right?
Doesn't it always come back to balance?

It looks like I am standing on the fence.

Maybe I'll erase "endure" and write,

"Do what is BEST."